I am a
good great friend and I always have been . I listen attentively to my friend’s problems with their husbands, boyfriends, jobs and even family. I offer solutions that are good for their mental and physical well being, and many times I help out emotionally or physically when I’m needed. I NEVER tell secrets or cause any drama and many times I have my friends “back” more than their own family members. You see I understand what it means to call someone a friend. Unfortunately, I realized this weekend that someone who I thought I was close with was NOT my friend. They didn’t do anything to harm me physically or emotionally but “ACTIONS speak a lot louder than words” when dealing with people.
Me being 32 years young, I had long been OVER the “friend game”. You know you befriend people to see if they can be called a friend and then you realize they can’t so you have to go through the painful of defriending someone. I weeded out some slick people who came around smiling and professing their love for me but in actuality they were like snakes in overgrown grass. I weeded out the ones who were liars and instigators who couldn’t be trusted as far as I could throw them. Finally I weeded out the ones who instead of being happy for my success, would talk about me to others. In the end, a few were left standing but those few have the heart and loyalty of a thousand friends!
While we’ve grown older,we’ve been in each other’s weddings, have comforted one another as we’ve grieved and been there through multiple childbirths (mostly mine). They’ve given me advice and been a shoulder for me to lean on when I didn’t have anyone else (or no one else understood). As I contemplated the events from this past weekend, I realize that while I have had my circle of friends for a while other people haven’t;therefore, their loyalty flits like the wind in storm. Heck, they don’t even realize what friends do (or do not do) so I can’t even be mad at them. Instead it makes me reevaluate, reassess and learn a lesson that I learned years ago…
“Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Love is gained and Loyalty is returned.” (Author Unknown)
As I self reflected on my epiphany I realized something else–maybe I’ve neglected my friends this year. I forgot to call, text or email all because I was going through this career crisis. However, now since summer is here I have time to reconnect, laugh and love on my friends. I need to talk, laugh and fellowship with them to get back to me. I learned a long time ago to not get angry about lessons you SHOULD of learned a long time ago, but instead appreciate them for the LIFE experiences they taught you. In the end, I love my friends–those who know what that word really means.
You see they know Fran–not BossyGirl the blogger with all the attitude–and I love that about them.