When I Knew I Was Fat– Chronicles of a Misguided Woman

I didn’t always know I had gotten fat. For many years I lied about what was on the scale, how my clothes fit and what I ate. I didn’t do it to be “sneaky” but instead I did it because I was ashamed of how big I had gotten. None of my “friends”, family or co-workers would tell me how out of control my weight had gottenm instead they encouraged me to keep hiding and lying by saying things like, “girl you’re not that big!”  To them I may not of been big but for my petite 5’5 frame, 195 pounds was a WHOLE lot of weight. Normally I should ideally fit into a size 8 but I had gotten up to a size 14/16!

me at my ideal size (8)

Other than my face (and stomach) most people did not realize I weighed that much because I was SOLID. My legs were solid, my bottom was wide (and big) and I covered well in my nicely tailored clothing from stores like Banana Republic. If I wanted to feel slim I’d simply wear a pair of my trusty old spanks and “keep it moving”.  THings were fine until I got pregnant with my 3rd child and the weight kept piling on. By the time I gave birth and lost all of the pregnancy fluid I was 225 pounds. But I still didn’t see it. I didn’t realize how big I had gotten until I was asked to be in a wedding of a childhood friend and I happened to look at the wedding pictures. I was HUGE! My arms were huge, my breasts were huge–I looked like a swollen Oompa Lumpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Me at my heaviest.. 225 and counting

I was soo angry at myself. How  did an overall fit person allow themeselves to neglect their health so much? I used to run track and play sports and as of 2010 I could barely make it up a flight of stairs. At first I was depressed and continued to eat my fast food meals until one day, on the edge I decided “enough was enough”. I began to crawl, walk and then run and almost two years later I’ve completed 2 half marathons several 5ks and 10ks. Now I am down 32 pounds, have lost countless inches all over my whole body and have a whole new “outlook” on life.

Why am I bringing up all of this? Because this weekend as I was waiting on my boxing class to start, I thought about how FAR I’ve come. I used to eat fast food at least 5 times a week now I’m splurging if I eat out once a week.  I used to get winded walking one mile, now I can survive running speed intervals in blazing 90 degree Atlanta weather and an hour and half boxing class. You see a lot of time I beat myself up because I’m not the size I want to be or my stomach is not as flat as it should be but that’s the wrong attitude to have–and that’s why I have NOT been able to break through this plateau. I’ll get depressed and stop the machine of my fitness. This weekend I had an ephiphany–I am good enough and I have ALL that it takes to breakthrough my fitness fears. I can learn to swim, I can finish a triathlon, I can compete in a fitness competition, I can do a full marathon! Yes, me!

No, I’m not going to start some crazy new fitness or diet plan, instead I’m going to  BE CONSISTENT and continue to eat clean, exercise as much as possible, think positive and drink a gallon of water daily. I owe it to myself and my family. So for all of my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram(bossygirl1980)  and YouTube fans, self assess and see if you’re healthy or not. If your not, stop making excuses and just do it. There will be good and bad days–that comes with the territory of getting your fitness together.  Stop complaining about how hard it is to get in shape, we’ve all been there. Instead look in the mirror and have an honest conversation with yourself. I did– and then (and only then) did I realized I was fat and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

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Written by BossyGirl1980

Here I am 32 and accidentally a mother of three, naturalista, wife, business woman, budding socialite and self proclaimed “runnergirl”. Follow me on my journey of living the fab life while trying to maintain my sanity. In 2010 I lost over 30 pounds by embracing exercise and running as a pastime. This is your place for everything it takes to be a BossyGirl .

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About BossyGirl1980

Here I am 32 and accidentally a mother of three, naturalista, wife, business woman, budding socialite and self proclaimed "runnergirl". Follow me on my journey of living the fab life while trying to maintain my sanity. In 2010 I lost over 30 pounds by embracing exercise and running as a pastime. This is your place for everything it takes to be a BossyGirl .
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3 Responses to When I Knew I Was Fat– Chronicles of a Misguided Woman

  1. kita says:

    You go girl. I was a size 2 even after I had my first child but then I went up to a 218 and I am still hovering around 200. I don't pig out that much I think my problem is I don't move around enough. I am so proud of you keep up the good work because you motivate people more than you know.

  2. Latorsha says:

    I have heard a few people say that photos were their wake up call. I think people just get comfortable, it is so easy to just buy new bigger clothes instead of getting into the old ones again.
    One of the things that I have a soap box about is exercising to be healthy! I have been thin all of my adult life, and people ask me why do I exercise so much. I quickly tell them it is about being healthy and that can be great motivation to get started. I don't won't to miss out on my son growing up because of things I could have prevented.
    I am so proud of your accomplishments to lose weight, but I commend you EVEN more for decreasing your risk for heart disease, diabetes, etc. etc. Job well done, keep it up!!!
    My recent post Blogging 1 year later ~ Cheers to you!

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