For the past two to three months I’ve been addicted to a reality show. One that not only exposes people’s raw feeling but is full of drama- not it’s not one the ratchet Basketball Wives spin offs-instead it’s Iyanla Fix My Life on the OWN network. Every Saturday night I’m glued to the television, crying, laughing and screaming at the different people who end up on Iyanla’s metaphorical couch. By the end of the show I (like the people actually on the show) experience a catharsis where I purge myself of all negative feelings and realize something I’ve been avoiding for years. Like all good shows, I can’t pinpoint one episode that was better than all the rest- they were all GREAT. The episode that featured the pastor who had a child out of wedlock spoke to me because I could identify with the wife who seemingly had everything but was harboring the secret that she was secretly split from her husband. I loved the episode when the three sisters came together to ‘hash out’ issues because me and my sister have had our issues. I loved the episode with Evelyn Lozada because it reminded me that despite how pretty you are, you can have major issues on the inside that you have to work through.
This got me thinking that IF I was brave enough like the people to air my insecurities out what would I discuss on the show? Well I’ve brainstormed 5 reasons I need to be on “Iyanla, Fix Life”. Here goes:
1. My need to eat all the cake every time no matter how many times I say I’m just going to eat one slice. I’m addicted to food. There I said it and my head (nor belly) exploded! Ever since I’ve been a child I’ve always loved eating.Not just a regular love but a love that makes you want to eat ALL DAY and all night. Before I had my first child everything was dandy then afterwards my waistline went to hell. Since 2010 I’ve trimmed it down but not the way it should be. I’m sure Iyanla would have some activity involving food and if I can resist then I’d fail the test and she’d smile yet tell why food is ruining my life. SMH
2. My penchant for being angry with people for a very, very long time. This episode could take a couple of weeks before my issues are resolved. Whenever I feel like someone has ‘done me wrong’ I immediately go into defense mode. I will cut off all ties (Facebook, phone number, etc) and not speak to them for months- even years- without any guilt. I’ve tried working on this but every time I try to have a forgiving heart someone pisses me off again and I’m all the way back at square one. I imagine this episode will be similar to Evelyn Lozada and I’m just angry for something that happened to me as a child. I don’t know but I do know this is an issue. I remember one time I found out an assosciate was discussing me ‘behind my back’ and quit speaking to them for 5 years! I’m praying about this one.
3. The angry feeling I get whenever something doesn’t go my way. I’ll admit that despite growing up as the middle child, I’m a spoiled brat. If something doesn’t go my way I instantly get angry. I’m almost sure it’s because I expect everything good to happen to me but I’m too old to feel this way so I’ve got to do better. I think Iyanla would tell me to ‘put my big girl panties’ on and just DEAL with it. #doublesigh
4. My unwavering desire to just quit my job and go with my passion. This has been an ongoing battle of mine for awhile. While I’m thankful to have a job and to generally teach kids that are awesome, I’m tired of trying to be everything for kids-that aren’t my own. Having two toddlers and a pre teen is serious business and I feel like I need to devote more time to them. So right now I’m trying to develop a plan where I can exit ‘stage left’ and focus more on The Educator’s Room and The Editing Nerd and not miss any income. I kind of feel like I didn’t get a new job this past summer because I deserved to be Teacher of the Year and by me staying I got what was due to me. Does that make sense? I know Iyanla would tell me to be grateful so when I have those moments where I have a REAL BAD attitude I literally get on my knees and pray.
5. The need to control everything. Being a mom it’s easy to feel the need to control everything and I do that well. So I would need Iyanla to tell me to ‘take a seat’ and chill out before I worry myself into a tizzy.
You see even though I watched in amazement while other people told some of their most hidden secret, I’m really just like them. I doubt if I ever go on the show but I routinely imagine me and Iyanla talking and her looking at me and saying, “Let’s call a spade a spade!” Then reading me my rights and I shamefully admit that she’s right. Other times I imagine me and Iyanla talking and her telling me that all of my feelings of being overwhelmed is natural and that to ‘play with the big dogs,sometimes you’ve got to get bit’. Either way, I think me meeting her would do a lot for my patience and stress level.
Now what issues would you go on her show for?